Introduction: Children may face a variety of traumas in their young lives. Sadly some children deal with the death of a sibling through accident or illness. Others deal with the loss of potential siblings when their mother miscarries. When a child is dealing with that form of grief, they may wish to discuss their feelings, but be unable to find the words.
This poem may open the discussion. Explain first, that Mattie had three siblings that died. He misses not only what he remembers, but also what they would have become had they lived to get older. Then read the poem aloud.
Reality
By Mattie J.T. Stepanek
Sometimes
I really miss
Having a brother.
I miss
My two brothers and my sister,
And I don’t
Understand
Why they died.
Sometimes
It’s so sad
To not have
A brother, and
Another brother, and
A sister
When I should have them.
And I know that
Something
Will make me
Happy again.
But, right now,
I don’t know what, and
I don’t know when.
From:
Stepanek, Mattie J. T. 2002. HOPE THROUGH HEARTSONGS. New York: Hyperion. ISBN 0-7868-6944-5
Extension: After waiting for any reactions from the child, ask if it is all right to be happy after someone dies. Will different members of the family be grief-stricken for different lengths of time? What if anything might help at this moment? Next week? Next month? Would it help to write down what they are feeling at the moment? Let the child guide the discussion.
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